If at first you don't succeed...

In a recent post, I said, "Third year was great because we were full-time in the hospital, getting practical experience". Unfortunately, it turns out that third year wasn't so great for me...

(I'll stretch this tale across two posts in the interests of readability.)

Remember the long case? I said, "My long case exam...went well, I think." I knew there was room for improvement, but I thought I'd done more than enough to pass. Especially after talking with other people after their long cases and hearing their horror stories.

Unfortunately the examiners didn't agree with me. I was shocked and devastated to receive an email in late August telling me I'd failed the long case.

The re-sit was scheduled for late September, two days after our written exams (more on those in my next post). So instead of focusing solely on study during that month, I also had to practise more bloody long cases! I didn't want to tell anyone I'd failed, because I was so humiliated, but I had to tell some of my colleagues so that they could find patients for me on their rotations. Very frustrating.

I presented a few long cases to doctors from my clinical school, who all praised me and couldn't find fault. However, this time I was determined to take the history quicker than last time, and ensure I left enough time to ask the patient any last-minute questions after the examination.

On the day of the re-sit, I was told to arrive at the hospital (not my clinical school) at 1pm. Being the middle of the day, there was no parking, so I had to park far away in a 2-hour zone. I assumed that I'd start the exam at about 1:30pm, and be back to the car by about 3:30pm. Instead, I was made to wait OVER 2 HOURS before starting my exam! I had nothing to read, nothing to do. I just sat there getting more and more stressed out. My car was parked too far away for me to move it, so I had the prospect of a parking ticket on my mind too.

One of the staff members felt bad, so when she came to tell me that I'd be starting the exam in about 5 minutes, she also mentioned that the patient had an aphasia, and that the examiners would take this into account. It was nice of her to warn me, but of course this increased my stress level exponentially!

The patient was a lovely man in his 80s, who'd recently undergone heart surgery to replace two valves. His expressive aphasia (and also some incoordination) were a result of strokes suffered during the surgery. That meant that the aphasia was new, and the patient wasn't used to it. My plans for a quicker history went out the window, because I had to ask him to repeat a lot of things.

Also, the patient couldn't tell me about ANY of his medications. I was praying that the examiners also didn't get this information from him. AND I felt like a monster because I made the patient cry when asking about his social situation. He was going to have to go into a home because he couldn't look after himself anymore. I felt so bad for him.

The examination was rushed but OK, and I used my 20 minutes of writing time effectively, I think.

The presentation was as good as last time - which, considering I failed last time, isn't saying much! The examiners were nice enough. The time went very quickly.

When I came out of the examination at about 4:45pm, I was completely drained. I left the hospital and called my Mum, and sobbed down the phone for a good 5 minutes. It was after 5pm when I reached the car, and amazingly there was no parking ticket! It then took me ages to drive home in peak hour.

This story has a happy ending though! I passed the re-sit. Woohoo!!

More on how third year made me its bitch in the next post...

Michael Stipe is a god

I’ve adored R.E.M. for nearly 20 years. I can remember the exact moment my love affair started. It was the summer of 1989 – I was 14 years old. I returned to the car after going to the beach at Cronulla to find a flyer under the windscreen wiper, advertising a concert at the Hordern Pavilion – R.E.M. supported by Hoodoo Gurus and The Go-Betweens. I remember thinking, “They have that funny song ‘Stand’, and that other one they play on Triple M, ‘The One I Love’”. The next week, I bought their 6th album, ‘Green’, and never looked back.

I didn’t go to that concert, and boy do I regret it. R.E.M. concerts in Australia are few and far between. I’ve seen them perform twice at the horrible Sydney Entertainment Centre (in 1995 and 2005), plus I saw them perform a short promotional gig at the Entertainment Quarter (for Channel V) in 2001.

It’s not fashionable to be a fan of R.E.M. these days – in Australia at least. In fact, I’ve found it quite lonely. My youngest sister got into them along with me, but she’s dropped away in the past 7 years or so. Another friend liked them, but she was never as much of a fan as me – she came to the concert with my sister and me in 1995, but I got the impression she wouldn’t have cared if she’d missed it, whereas I was prepared to camp out to buy tickets! In recent years another friend emerged as a fan, and he went to the concert with me in 2005, but unfortunately he moved overseas this year.

R.E.M. have always been very good to their fans. I never joined the fan club (though often thought about doing it), but I know that they produce special recordings each year for fan club members, not to mention priority access to concert tickets. And they've always been very supportive of the fan site, Murmurs.com.

R.E.M. have established an excellent website of their own, with regular updates from the band while they're on tour, or recording, or just having time off. Long-time manager Bertis Downs produces postcards on the site, giving a great insight into the band.

On their current tour, R.E.M. took their web presence one step further. On the R.E.M. Tour 2008 site, fans can view and add content from shows on the tour - Flickr photos, YouTube videos, blogs, and Tweets. Instead of stopping people from recording their shows, R.E.M. are encouraging it! The site is an amazing resource. For example, here I can experience the concert that my friend attended in Budapest in August (aaagh I was so jealous).

The tour has taken in North America and Europe, and will finish in South America soon. Unfortunately R.E.M. haven't made any announcements about an Asia-Pacific leg, which is disappointing. Although if they were to continue the tour in Australia, it'd probably be while I'm overseas anyway. Also, I really want to see them at a different venue, because I hatehatehate the soulless Sydney Entertainment Centre.

And now to the title of this post. I love all members of R.E.M. - former drummer Bill Berry, guitarist Peter Buck, bass player Mike Mills, and of course singer Michael Stipe. They're all fascinating characters and very generous with fans. But recently, on the site Pop Songs 07-08 (where fan Matthew Perpetua has blogged about every song in the R.E.M. collection), Michael Stipe exceeded all fans' expectations. Michael offered to answer questions from Matthew and other fans about the songs and his lyrics!

From Michael:

“Remember that I’m not the best at recalling studio memories, etcetera, and so the more interesting questions for me will be about intention and exact lyrics or my interpretation of what I meant, what I think I meant, whatever. Remember also that some songs have no real lyrics [chorus of orange crush comes to mind] and so I cannot answer those.”

Over a couple of weeks, Michael answered several questions from fans, giving us an amazing insight into the songwriting process. In many cases, it showed that fans overthink his lyrics, which is not surprising. I didn't submit a question, but was excited to see that he answered questions from other fans about my two favourite songs, ‘You Are The Everything’ and ‘Find The River’.

So, armed with this new information, I'm listening to all my R.E.M. albums again - a perfect holiday activity!

Quick study break

Well that's it for third year - except for exams of course. I can't believe how quickly these 8+ months have gone! Third year was great because we were full-time in the hospital, getting practical experience. Some rotations were excellent; others were meh. I found that there was a lot of wasted time, standing around waiting for something to happen. (Especially in ED - God I was bored. Other students got to do lots of procedures in ED, but because I started one week after the new interns, they wanted to do all the procedures, which was fair enough.) I was speaking to a fourth year yesterday, and she said the waiting around is even worse in fourth year. Aaagh! When I'm waiting around I always think of what else I could be doing - sleeping, studying, working, relaxing...

As I mentioned previously, my last rotation was supposed to be at a rural location - Shoalhaven Hospital, where Liz went at the start of the year. A week before the rotation began, my clinical school notified me that the rotation had been cancelled. Further investigation revealed that Sydney Uni shouldn't have been sending students there at all this year (a directive came through last year about this), because Wollongong Uni students were starting their clinical placements this year. I guess the Shoalhaven teaching staff finally got sick of it and unfortunately I (and a couple of other students) missed out. I was very cranky.

So that meant I had to choose another rotation at short notice. There wasn't much left - I ended up choosing Immunology and Infectious Diseases. I'm glad I chose it because it's not one of my strong areas, and the consultants were all fantastic teachers. Being the last rotation, I wasn't quite as diligent as I have been during the rest of the year. In the second week I was very sick and missed a whole week of uni, and then I attended the bare minimum in the third and fourth weeks. For that reason I won't give you the highlights and lowlights of the rotation.

There are pros and cons re. the cancellation of my rural placement. Pros include not having to drive back for my sister's wedding and my netball grand final, being around for all the teaching that the clinical school crammed into the last month, being around for the final sessions with my PBL group and Patient-Doctor group (this worked out well because I ended up being in charge of collecting money and purchasing gifts for our tutors), being around for our formative surgery assessment (it was on Monday, and I passed - hopefully a good indication for the upcoming Barrier), being avaialable to work, and being in Sydney for various social activities.

Cons include missing out on seeing my many relatives in and around Nowra (it's my Mum's home town), missing the chance to experience a good mix of general medicine on my placement, missing the opportunity to get out of Sydney for a while, and missing the chance to get some decent Barrier study done, without the distractions of home.

I think it turned out OK in the end.

My sister's wedding was fantastic. She looked like a 1930s movie star! On the day of her wedding it poured rain and was freezing cold. However just as the ceremony was about to start (about half an hour before sunset), the sun came out and it was beautiful! (But still bloody cold.) There were no family dramas on the night. However there have been family dramas since, which I won't detail here. The result of these dramas is that I've barred my Dad, which is sad but unfortunately necessary for me right now. Last weekend I boycotted Father's Day for the first time ever.

Last but not least, netball! I started getting sick a couple of days before my sister's wedding, and by the end of the wedding night I was coughing like crazy and had lost my voice. My netball grand final was the next day, and I was not well at all - and I play Centre. We lost by 2 points, which was an excellent effort considering a couple of us were sick. Bummer getting that close though.

Right, that's enough procrastination for today. Time to get back to the study. Exams in 10 days!

Bookworm

I don't think it would surprise you to learn that I'm a voracious reader. I love to read, love exploring bookshops, and love buying books.

Does anyone remember Book Week from primary school? Each year at my school, we had Book Week competitions - from colouring in when we were little, to writing competitions as we got older. I won several of the competitions, but I distinctly remember winning in year 4 (age 9). The prize was a book (of course), and the school librarian specifically chose a book for me that was recommended for older readers: Playing Beatie Bow by Ruth Park. I loved it, and continued reading at a higher level. I first read The Lord of the Rings at age 11 (and have re-read it several times since then). And of course I was all over the MS Readathon.

I'm a speed reader too, which comes in handy. And if I find a spelling or (more likely) grammar error in a book, I find it very hard to enjoy the book. It really spoils it for me. I suppose it's not the author's fault - I should blame their editor.

These days, it's harder and harder to find the time to read for pleasure. My bus commute is very short, and I simply don't have time to sit down with a book over the weekend. Mostly I try to read a chapter when I go to bed, but even that's difficult to fit in around work and study. I can't wait for the holidays!

So as you can imagine, the meme Liz posted was right up my alley.

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The Big Read says that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

1. Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2. Italicise those you intend to read.
3. Underline the books you love.
4. Put a line through the books you read but didn't like.
5. Publish the list to your blog.

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1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. The Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible

(I've read the bits I had to as part of my Catholic upbringing.)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

(I know, sacrilege right? I hated this book.)
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

(Finally got around to reading it earlier this year)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

(I adore this - it's not very old. Such an unusual concept, so wonderfully realised.)
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

(I think I need to re-read this - I didn't fully appreciate it the first time.)
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

(Thankfully not ruined by studying it at high school.)
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

(I think I started reading this once, but it was too overwhelming.)
25. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

(It's been a while - these are on my 're-read' list.)
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen

(This is actually my favourite Austen book [well, it's about equal with Pride and Prejudice] - mainly due to Captain Wentworth's letter. Oh how I swooned!)
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

(I own a beautiful hardcover version of this that I hope to read to my kids one day.)
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

(How I wish I could meet a doctor like Gilbert Blythe...)
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

(Loved the movie.)
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

(This is my favourite book of all time. I've read it a few times now, which is no mean feat at 1474 pages. I love books about India, and I love love stories, so this book is perfect for me.)
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville

(There's a large portion of my life that I'll never get back.)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

(One of the most adored books from my childhood.)
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

(I much prefer Down Under.)
75. Ulysses - James Joyce

(Only because I thought I should read it. I didn't hate it, but I can't say I enjoyed it.)
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White

(Another adored book from my childhood. Oh how I cried!)
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

(I bought it second-hand last week.)
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

(My sisters and me were very much into these books.)
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

(I love anything by Roald Dahl.)
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

(I also bought this second-hand last week.)

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57 out of 100 - that's not bad!

It's a funny list - clearly British with that Bill Bryson book on there. And of course there's a dearth of Australian books. I'd like to include these:

• The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

(Just finished this last night - brilliant.)
• Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha - Roddy Doyle
• The Woman Who Walked Into Doors - Roddy Doyle
• The Shipping News - E. Annie Proulx
• Cloudstreet - Tim Winton
• The Riders - Tim Winton
• My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
• The Harp in the South - Ruth Park
• A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon
• Seven Little Australians - Ethel Turner
• The Magic Pudding - Norman Lindsay
• The Alchemist - Paolo Coelho

(I haven't read this yet - it's also sitting on my bedside table. But from what I've heard, it deserves to be on a 'best books' list.)
• The Tomorrow series - John Marsden
• The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy

To put an Aussie spin on it, check out My Favourite Book, which was a survey (and TV show) done by the ABC (last year I think).

An errant apostrophe

A very clever person was published on Apostrophism today...

(I submitted a close-up photo too, but you can read the blog author's reason for omitting it.)