My two best friends and I were all single in our mid-to-late twenties, and would often get together for nights out and many bottles of cheap wine in inner west pubs. Inevitably we'd end up lamenting the states of our respective love lives (or lack thereof). It was around this time we discussed the concept of 'scary age' - the age at which being single would change from being a mere annoyance to something more serious. Vaguely aware that one's fertility is said to decline from around age 35, we fixated on 35 as 'scary age'.
It was my birthday in late September. No prizes for guessing how old I turned. And yes, I'm still single. (Those two friends are no longer single - one got married last December, and the other gets married in two weeks.)
It's a tough age to be single. I'm very independent and like things to be just-so, and the thought of introducing a partner into my very busy life at this stage seems daunting. And it's harder to meet someone - that's why I've tried the speed dating, the online dating, the getting-drunk-and-picking-up-dodgy-men, etc. And if I meet someone, they will be all too aware of the whole declining fertility thing too, which is a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship. Even if I met someone today, it'd take a while to build up to being ready to have a child with that person, during which time my fertility would continue to decline. Gah!
I've been single for about 18 months now, which sucks. But I really only have myself to blame - I've been so busy this year that I haven't wanted to be proactive about dating. That'll change soon, hopefully. (I'm also unhappy with the way I look, which is daft, and will also change soon.) Happily, I still have several single female friends, so we can arrange to go out together when the couples are coupling. (Hmmm that sounds dirty - didn't mean it that way! Also, who else loves Coupling [original UK version of course]? I have the DVD box set. /tangent)
I'm currently doing my Obstetrics & Gynaecology rotation. Almost every lecturer and tutor has mentioned the declining fertility from age 35 thing. By the end of a full week of lectures, I was ready to punch the next person who brought it up! Admittedly, most of the lecturers delivered the message with sensitivity, but some were complete wankers about it - the worst thing they can say is, "Don't leave it too late, don't delay having babies so you can have a career", etc. You can't accuse someone of leaving it too late if they're single!! I can't have a baby by myself!
Or can I? Reaching scary age has got me thinking about the other options. There was a great guest post on Mamamia a few weeks ago from this blogger, about using a sperm donor. I think it's something I should consider, or at least have in the back of my mind. On a few drunken occasions this has come up with one of my gay friends, but it's never been seriously discussed, and probably should be at some point. The other thing to consider is freezing my eggs while I'm still fecund (love that word), although my understanding is that that isn't a particularly successful way of conceiving - but I guess the technology continues to develop.
Of course, it would help if I didn't want to have kids. But I do. I don't care about the marriage part so much (life partner = yes; marriage = if they really want to), but kids are important to me. My career is important too, but I'm willing to put it on hold for the sake of having kids.
We finished the yearbook last night (OH HELL YES WE DID), so my life will slowly return to 'normal', if there's such a thing. O&G study takes centre stage for the next month, but so do exercise and social life and everything else. It's time to turn my life around!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Identity theft
I've just remembered some things that particularly struck me during my Paeds rotation.
On ward rounds, the doctors would always say hi to the parent/s (usually mother, but sometimes father) - but instead of greeting them by name, they'd say, "Hi Mum, how's little Johnny going today?" I saw this time and time again - in fact, I never once saw a parent referred to by their name. I felt bad for the parents. Sure, the child is the one who's sick and needs attention, but it's damn hard for parents to give up work, or caring for their other children, to spend time in the hospital. And on top of all that, they lose their identity and are reduced to the generic "Mum" or "Dad".
I also felt bad because the parents often have no idea how long they'll be staying in hospital - that's par for the course, as it really depends on how quickly the child recovers. But for a parent who's never experienced this before, it must be so frustrating and daunting. Each day they wait for a visit from the doctors - sometimes first thing in the morning, often not before midday - to discover their fate, and often they're disappointed to find that they're stuck in the hospital for another day, or a weekend if it's Friday.
A couple of patient encounters particularly bugged me:
On ward rounds, the doctors would always say hi to the parent/s (usually mother, but sometimes father) - but instead of greeting them by name, they'd say, "Hi Mum, how's little Johnny going today?" I saw this time and time again - in fact, I never once saw a parent referred to by their name. I felt bad for the parents. Sure, the child is the one who's sick and needs attention, but it's damn hard for parents to give up work, or caring for their other children, to spend time in the hospital. And on top of all that, they lose their identity and are reduced to the generic "Mum" or "Dad".
I also felt bad because the parents often have no idea how long they'll be staying in hospital - that's par for the course, as it really depends on how quickly the child recovers. But for a parent who's never experienced this before, it must be so frustrating and daunting. Each day they wait for a visit from the doctors - sometimes first thing in the morning, often not before midday - to discover their fate, and often they're disappointed to find that they're stuck in the hospital for another day, or a weekend if it's Friday.
A couple of patient encounters particularly bugged me:
- One 3-year-old child had been in hospital for weeks, and his poor Mum looked frazzled. I ended up taking a detailed history from her, and found out that she also had a 4-month-old child, had recently split from the father of the second child, and was going through a bitter legal dispute with him (he had assumed custody of the child). She had to sit there and entertain her sick, bored and cranky child each day, while also trying to deal with these legal and relationship stresses. I don't know how she did it. In the child's notes I was pleased to see that these issues had been identified, and that the social worker was involved.
- During my farcical week of surgery, we went on a lightning quick ward round. One mother was confused because two groups of doctors had been to see her. Who was in charge? Who should she believe? It was clear that she had questions, but the doctors blew her off and she was left floundering. Another student and I trailed out of the room behind the team, and he said to me, "How would you evaluate that patient encounter?" I said, "Possibly one of the worst I've ever seen." He agreed. It was tempting to go back into the room and have a chat with the mother, but who were we to do that? We didn't have the information she needed. I wish I'd spoken up, but I'd only just met the doctors on my team - in fact, they hadn't bothered to give us their names, and never asked for our names. (That's a pet hate, by the way - it happens all the time.)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today...
I've finished my Paediatrics rotation. It kinda sucked. I loved the kids and could easily see myself working with kids, but my weekly placements within the rotation sucked, and that ruined it for me.
My first week was spent with the Renal team, and I was looking forward to solidifying my renal knowledge, and learning about kid-specific things too. But it was dull - with only one or two inpatients, there wasn't much for me to do. Clinics were the main part of the week, but it really gets dull sitting there, not interacting, hour after hour, day after day.
My second week was General Medicine. Two or three students are attached to each team, and we basically spent the whole time walking around on ward rounds that lasted several hours. Sometimes, if we were lucky, we got to write in the notes. Mostly we were ignored.
My third week was in the Child Development Unit. I'd already heard that it was pretty cruisy (finishing at lunchtime each day), and that was fine with me. But the time I spent there was pretty useless. One day I had to sit behind a one-way mirror to observe a session with an autistic kid, but they hadn't bothered to check whether the audio equipment was working, so I sat in silence and ended up playing with my iPhone for an hour. Then I was told that the doctors would be on a conference later in the week, so I really only experienced three half-days of questionable value.
My fourth week was Anaesthetics. I specifically requested it, and I'm glad I did. Everyone was friendly and they let me do lots of stuff, including cannulation and intubation. And during the operations I chatted to the anaesthetists about the pros and cons of their chosen career. Finally, a good placement!
My fifth week was General Surgery. It was SO frustrating. We had to be there at 7am for ward rounds. But the rounds never started before 8am - one day we waited until 8:30am! Not happy after getting up early to drive a considerable distance to be there on time. Also, on the first morning the registrars on our team told us that there was only one day of theatre that week because all the doctors would be at a conference. That also meant they wouldn't be admitting any patients, so there was absolutely nothing for us to do. They had three or four neonatal inpatients, so the ward round was over really quickly - and then later in the week, the NICU was closed because of a pertussis outbreak! While it was good to have spare time so close to exams, it was ultimately disappointing.
The other weeks were made up of lectures and exams. I passed the exams, but gave myself a bit of a scare. I had a brain freeze during the written, and ended up passing by one mark. I was convinced I'd failed. Similarly, I stuffed up one of the stations in the OSCE - I knew I'd failed that station, but had to pass the other three stations to pass the OSCE. Luckily I scraped through, but only just. I spent three days sick to my stomach with worry, constantly in tears - not the best when I was supposed to be studying! The annoying thing was that all of the exam questions (written and OSCE) were from past papers, so it should have been a breeze. I really need to get over this exam anxiety already.
Apart from Paeds, I've been continuing with the yearbook. We've collected profiles from most students now, though some are being particularly difficult about it. We've even got some "conscientious objectors" who don't want profiles in the yearbook. WTF? We'll be editing all the content over the next couple of weeks. It's slowly coming together...
And in my massive amount of spare time (yeah right), I'm helping to organise a Vietnam fundraising dinner and my friend's hen's night. I am mental.
My first week was spent with the Renal team, and I was looking forward to solidifying my renal knowledge, and learning about kid-specific things too. But it was dull - with only one or two inpatients, there wasn't much for me to do. Clinics were the main part of the week, but it really gets dull sitting there, not interacting, hour after hour, day after day.
My second week was General Medicine. Two or three students are attached to each team, and we basically spent the whole time walking around on ward rounds that lasted several hours. Sometimes, if we were lucky, we got to write in the notes. Mostly we were ignored.
My third week was in the Child Development Unit. I'd already heard that it was pretty cruisy (finishing at lunchtime each day), and that was fine with me. But the time I spent there was pretty useless. One day I had to sit behind a one-way mirror to observe a session with an autistic kid, but they hadn't bothered to check whether the audio equipment was working, so I sat in silence and ended up playing with my iPhone for an hour. Then I was told that the doctors would be on a conference later in the week, so I really only experienced three half-days of questionable value.
My fourth week was Anaesthetics. I specifically requested it, and I'm glad I did. Everyone was friendly and they let me do lots of stuff, including cannulation and intubation. And during the operations I chatted to the anaesthetists about the pros and cons of their chosen career. Finally, a good placement!
My fifth week was General Surgery. It was SO frustrating. We had to be there at 7am for ward rounds. But the rounds never started before 8am - one day we waited until 8:30am! Not happy after getting up early to drive a considerable distance to be there on time. Also, on the first morning the registrars on our team told us that there was only one day of theatre that week because all the doctors would be at a conference. That also meant they wouldn't be admitting any patients, so there was absolutely nothing for us to do. They had three or four neonatal inpatients, so the ward round was over really quickly - and then later in the week, the NICU was closed because of a pertussis outbreak! While it was good to have spare time so close to exams, it was ultimately disappointing.
The other weeks were made up of lectures and exams. I passed the exams, but gave myself a bit of a scare. I had a brain freeze during the written, and ended up passing by one mark. I was convinced I'd failed. Similarly, I stuffed up one of the stations in the OSCE - I knew I'd failed that station, but had to pass the other three stations to pass the OSCE. Luckily I scraped through, but only just. I spent three days sick to my stomach with worry, constantly in tears - not the best when I was supposed to be studying! The annoying thing was that all of the exam questions (written and OSCE) were from past papers, so it should have been a breeze. I really need to get over this exam anxiety already.
Apart from Paeds, I've been continuing with the yearbook. We've collected profiles from most students now, though some are being particularly difficult about it. We've even got some "conscientious objectors" who don't want profiles in the yearbook. WTF? We'll be editing all the content over the next couple of weeks. It's slowly coming together...
And in my massive amount of spare time (yeah right), I'm helping to organise a Vietnam fundraising dinner and my friend's hen's night. I am mental.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Acceptance
In case you don't already know via other social networking sources, I got my 7th preference (out of 14) for internship. It's Wollongong.
Pros:
It seems like people either got their first choice or their 7th/8th/9th choice. I've heard of a few in-between, but they're the minority. So much for IMET telling us that everyone gets within their top 4 or 5! On average, maybe.
In other news, I've just finished my week of holidays. I had grand plans for the holidays - especially working on my photography. Unfortunately I got the (most likely, swine) flu last weekend, so that ruined it. I had no energy and was very unwell, especially earlier in the week. I seem to have come good now, but my throat's still not 100%.
So it's back to uni tomorrow, and I feel like I've hardly had a break at all. I'm doing Paediatrics, and I really wish I had more energy before starting this block.
Also, I recently agreed to take on the role of Yearbook Editor for our class. This may prove to be a very unwise move - I always over-commit and end up stressed out. Although it certainly is a good role for me - project management, editing, proofreading. It'll really test my powers of delegation! (And I'm very happy to have Liz helping me out...)
Bedtime!
Pros:
- I have lots of relos down that way
- It's near the beach
- I went to Wollongong Uni for four years (in the mid-90s), so I'm familiar with the area
- It's not too far from friends and family in The Shire.
- It's too far from friends and inner-city lifestyle in the inner west
- It's not in Sydney
- I have to move house, and a considerable distance.
It seems like people either got their first choice or their 7th/8th/9th choice. I've heard of a few in-between, but they're the minority. So much for IMET telling us that everyone gets within their top 4 or 5! On average, maybe.
In other news, I've just finished my week of holidays. I had grand plans for the holidays - especially working on my photography. Unfortunately I got the (most likely, swine) flu last weekend, so that ruined it. I had no energy and was very unwell, especially earlier in the week. I seem to have come good now, but my throat's still not 100%.
So it's back to uni tomorrow, and I feel like I've hardly had a break at all. I'm doing Paediatrics, and I really wish I had more energy before starting this block.
Also, I recently agreed to take on the role of Yearbook Editor for our class. This may prove to be a very unwise move - I always over-commit and end up stressed out. Although it certainly is a good role for me - project management, editing, proofreading. It'll really test my powers of delegation! (And I'm very happy to have Liz helping me out...)
Bedtime!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Triple J Hottest 100 Volume 16
All this talk of the Hottest 100 of All Time reminds me that I haven't reviewed the most recent Hottest 100 CD.
I really love this collection. Here are my picks...
Hottest 100 16 (2008)
I really love this collection. Here are my picks...
Hottest 100 16 (2008)
- Favourite: "Burn Bridges" - The Grates
- Hidden treasure: "Dawn of the Dead" - Does It Offend You, Yeah?
- Shit: "Jungle Drum" - Emiliana Torrini
- Best grammar reference: "Oxford Comma" - Vampire Weekend
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
